My canvas would be covered with a swirl of interacting color, reds and oranges depicting stress and concern, blues and greens for those moments of peaceful serenity (scarce as they may be at present ). I try to focus on the blues and greens, hoping to expand them, but the red and orange seep from the corner trying to overcome what little peace I can enjoy.
My life is a constant swirl of these colors lately. Carried along with the red and orange is stress, concern for those family members and friends suffering from various illnesses, my anxiety increased as both my son and his ex-wife are out of work at the same time, with 2 young children to support. The blues and greens float like ribbons in the air, a lovely gathering of those same people on the Fourth of July, a wonderful weeklong visit with my mom, dinner with friends, planning Christmas crafts and celebrating my son’s birthday on the 10.th
. Anxiety is a sticky-wicket. I play a game on my computer called Candy Crush Saga. On some of the levels, as I try to complete my task, a column of chocolate begins to grow, eventually covering everything in its path, and unless I fight it back, it immobilizes me.
Replace the word chocolate with the word anxiety and watch the orange and reds become a maelström, seeking to overwhelm my blues and greens.
I try, however, to push the red and oranges back, diminish them with meditation, with looking forward to an upcoming weekend stay with our friends, Kathi and Don in a mountain cabin in Asheville, NC, followed by meeting Bill’s family near Asheville and travelling to South Carolina to visit Bill’s brother, Bob and sister-in-law Jill, in their new home in Traveler’s Rest, SC. I’ve always felt more at peace in the mountains than anywhere else. Right now, I need a mountain fix. Maybe I won’t have the chance to take a sunrise picture over the ocean waters this year, but one in the mountains would do just fine.
when pressures of life build to a peak
some people find solace in shorelines and sea
but it’s often the higher ground that I seek
for it’s always been mountains for me
I stand on a ridge at the top of the world
from worry and care I am free
I sing in the sun with my spirit unfurled
for it’s always been mountains for me.